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Why Your Baseball Team Sucks, 2012 Edition

Spring training has arrived, and with it comes the barrage of features from your favorite beat writers about how good certain players look, how people coming off injury look 100%, how so-and-so looks to be in the best shape of his life, and how one of your younger players looks primed for a monster season.

If you’re an optimist, that’s all well and good. But frankly, 29 teams are going to fail this season, and 20 of them (or 22 of them, depending on whether or not Bud Selig can make up his mind) aren’t even going to get the chance to play in the postseason. So despite all the sunshine and rainbows that are shining upon your favorite team right now, something is inevitably going to go wrong for them at some point. So, amidst the barrage of “the ballclub looks great!” articles you’re sure to see in the coming weeks, including the ones where various Houston Astro players tell reporters that they feel as if they can contend if a few things break their way, I offer this pessimistic alternative: Why Your Baseball Team Sucks.

Granted, this is pretty much a collection of everything that could possibly go wrong, and these complete worst case scenarios will not happen for every team (plus, unexpected things will inevitably go right, too). But hey, it’s better to shatter illusions now, isn’t it?

If you remember this post from last year, expect something similar to that.

And so, without further ado, the second annual Why Your Baseball Team Sucks. Optimists are advised to read on at their own risk.

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